Why did we have to change/get rid of Constance Hatchaway in The Haunted Mansion? Remind me?

I mean…it’s a fking Haunted House.

A

HAUNTED

HOUSE

FOR

FKS

SAKE

Like, I mean, at some point during the ride you get pushed out of the window and die. That’s why you can now see all of the ghosts when you’re rolling through the cemetary.

Not making this shit up – you are murdered and now become one of the Happy Haunts.

It’s demented, disturbing, dark, and brilliant.

However, apparently Constance Hatchaway had to be “watered down” and stripped of her personality because the idea of a black widow axe murderer in the attic of a haunted house built on the story of a pirate gentleman who murdered his fiancee was…..insensitive?

I mean, come on, look at this update…girl what are you DOING?

I’m all about updating things that are clearly racist, sexist, insensitive, intolerant, add whatever word you want.

Pirates of the Caribbean – I totally get ditching the “Buy a Bride” auction scene, but they turned it into a fking antique auction. I’m sorry, what? Yeah, because Pirates were like “y’know, instead of looting and stealing shit, let’s have a fking auction and buy some authentic French antiques or a painting someone’s kid made or a harpsichord or a fking random chicken with one eye because the ship is lacking in decor.

That was a bit ridiculous, fam. Ri-Gdamn- Diculous.

I do like the update they gave the Redhead, but I mean, did we have to change the design? Maybe she liked being scandalous like that – there was no need to completely slut shame the redhead…she could have stayed looking the same and had some fking crazy ass scars and maybe a weird ass glass eye and like part of her jaw exposed, and the other women could have been just as creatively redesigned, but whatever.

Anyway, so back to Haunted Mansion…now the bride is just….there. I know, I know, this isn’t a new subject, this is an old subject. I remember when it happened. I was just looking for references and went down a Haunted Mansion rabbit hole, and became disgruntled all over again.

It hasn’t escaped me that I have literally ZERO things published, sold, made, in the public eye, etc and that I’m being one of those diaper babies that complains about something that I didn’t create. I’m an asshole and I own it.

IDGAF, I’m gonna die on this hill and many others. And YES…if I ever do visit a Disney Park again, I’ll still ride Haunted Mansion a trillion times and love it each time.